Health and wellness


You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

 

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

 

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

 

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? 

 

THINK CAREFULLY: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

 

………………………………………………….. 

Democrat’s Answer: Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! A democrat would have to know more, such as:

 

 

Does the man look poor or oppressed? 

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?  

What does my wife think? 

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? 

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? 

Should I call 9-1-1? 

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. 

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

 

……………………………………………………………. 

Republican’s  Answer:

 

BANG!

 

……………………………………………………. 

Redneck’s Answer:

 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click. . . . . . (Sounds of reloading)

 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 

Click 

 

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy!  Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Gold Dot Hollow Points?’  

Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?’ 

Wife: ‘You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist

 

 
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As you slide down the banister of life in 2010
                     … REMEMBER …
 
1.  Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive
new book.  It’s called … "Ministers Do More Than Lay People"
 
2.  Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and BE Mary..
 
3.  The difference between the Pope and your boss?
      The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring..
 
4.  My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.
 
5.  The only time the world beats a path to your door
      is if you’re in the bathroom.
 
6.  I hate sex in the movies.  Tried it once.  The seat folded up,
     the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
 
7.  It used to be only death and taxes.  Now, of course, there’s
     shipping and handling too.
 
8.  A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives
     the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
 
9.  My net house will have no kitchen – just vending machines
     and a large trash can.
 
 
10. Definition of a teenager?
       God’s punishment for enjoying sex.
 
11. As you slike down the banister of life, may
      the splinters never point the wrong way.
 
Be who you are and say what you feel… because those that matter, don’t mind….
and those that mind, don’t matter.